Friday, April 23, 2021

Book Review: Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make by Paul David Tripp

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BOOK review
Started on: 28 March 2021
Finished on: 17 April 2021
 
 
Title: Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make
Author: Paul David Tripp
Publisher: Crossway Books
Pages: 384 pages
Year of Publication: 2021
Price: Rp 326,625 (https://www.bookdepository.com/)

Rating: 5/5 
*This e-book was received as a review copy from Crossway
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"It happens to everyone. It is the unavoidable reality of marriage. Somehow, someway, every marriage becomes a struggle. Life after the honeymoon is radically different from the honeymoon that preceded it."
When we got married, we begin the journey of a lifetime—and some people have dreams of that journey being perfect. However, it won't take long for that expectation fade away in the struggles of everyday life. A long-term marriage needs to be grounded in something sturdier than romance—it needs the life-changing power of the gospel. In this repackaged edition of What Did You Expect?, Paul David Tripp encourages couples to make six biblical commitments to God and to one another. These commitments will help and equip couple to build a thriving marriage built on Christ.
"The reconciliation of a marriage must be a lifestyle, not just the response you have when things go bad."
"We are all the same; the character and quality of our life is forged in little moments. Every day we lay little bricks on the foundation of what our life will be. The bricks of words said, the bricks of actions taken, the bricks of little decisions, the bricks of little thoughts, and the bricks of small-moment desires all work together to form the functional edifice that is your marriage."
I've enjoyed reading several books written by Paul David Tripp in the past and these books have helped me gain new perspectives about life and God. I decided to read this book because I got married about 6 months ago and really want to learn about building a healthy, God-centered marriage. This book is a repackaged edition of his book titled 'What Did You Expect?', which was released back in 2010. The repackaged edition includes 2 additional chapters and updated with discussion questions at the end. After I finished reading this book, I used the discussion questions to reflect and ponder about my marriage—which really helps me realize some of the problems that I wasn't aware of before.

Just like the subtitle of this book, Paul David Tripp encourage readers to make 6 gospel commitments to help build a thriving marriage. The first one is giving ourselves to a regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness, making growth and change our daily agenda, working together to build a sturdy bond of trust, commit to building a relationship of love, dealing with differences with appreciation and grace, and lastly working to protect our marriage. All of these commitments sounds quite challenging to do in our day to day lives, and so the writer walks us through each one and explains why these commitments are important. In this review, I will be sharing some of the things that I learned through this book.
"Every marriage requires divine intervention. Every marriage needs divine wisdom. Every couple will be pushed beyond the limits of their character. Every couple will need strength beyond what they have. No husband and wife can do what they were designed to do in marriage without assistance. One of the beautiful things that marriage is meant to do is drive each of us away from habits of self-reliance into patterns of dependency on God."
One of the things that Paul David Tripp emphasized in this book is that things don't go bad in a marriage in an instant. The character of a marriage is not formed in one grand moment, but instead it all happened progressively. That's why it's important to pay attention to little moments that happen in our day-to-day lives. When we pay attention to what we think, desire, say, and do daily, we are laying down little bricks on the foundation of what our lives will be. I think that's one of the main causes of marital problems that I never thought about before. We usually realize a problem when it has exploded into a big fight, but it's actually the fruit of the small seeds that we might have planted in the past. When we consider that fact, we will try to be more careful with our actions and words, choosing them wisely.
 
Another part of this book that felt like a slap in my face is when the writer states that whenever we are hurt or our spouse did something wrong, we forget that our husband / wife is not the only sinner in the room. When we got into an argument with our spouse, the inner lawyer inside of us will quickly rises to our defense. And Paul David Tripp states that all of us have a problem with self-righteousness because it is hard to see ourselves with clarity and accept the fact that we also sin. It reminds us of our daily need for grace. When we grasp that fact, we will be able to respond to our spouse with the same grace that we receive from God and we will be willing to listen to rebuke. This was a hard pill to swallow for me personally, but it is necessary to recognize this truth.
"Serving our spouses in love also means being committed to responding to them in ways that are kind and to do to them only what is good."
"Unity is not the result of sameness. Rather, unity results when love intersects with difference."
The last one that I will be sharing in this review comes from fourth commitment, which is commit to building a relationship of love. A lot of people have romanticized the idea of love, but this book gives a new definition of love that I will always remember: "Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving.". For us believers, Jesus Christ has proved that love for us on the cross. However, the way we treat our spouse sometimes doesn't demonstrate that kind of love. A lot of things can be the cause of lack of love, such as: disunity, misunderstanding, separation, physical dysfunction, or conflict. Paul David Tripp each one and how to tackle them through a series of examples. Practicing this kind of love is not easy, that's why we need God's help and grace daily to help us cultivate true love in our marriage.

Whether still single, preparing for marriage, a newlywed, or have been married for a long time, I personally think that everyone can learn something from this book. The writer uses a lot of practical examples and shared some of his personal experiences which makes it easier to understand the point that he's trying to get across. I haven't read a lot of books on marriage, but I think this book will surely be one of my all-time favorites. It opened my eyes to the hard truth about relationship in marriage and reminded me that it requires hard work from both husband and wife to create a fulfilling marriage. Most importantly, we can never achieve it on our own because we will always need help from God as the third person who continue to give us hope. I think this is a book that's worth re-reading in the future just in case I need to be reminded again of what I've learned through it. Will definitely look forward to more books written by Paul David Tripp :)
"Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being love is deserving."
"...if you want to know the true character and quality of your love for God, examine the quality of your relationship with the person near to you. Your love for your husband or wife is a very accurate barometer of your true love for God."
by.stefaniesugia♥ .
 

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