Gayle Forman does it again, breaking my heart into pieces for the second time with the sequel of If I Stay. this book is probably more - if not equally - heartbreaking than the first book. the grief, the sadness, it's about the same level; but in different situations. in the first book If I Stay, the story is told from Mia's point of view, how she lost her whole family in a car accident; while this book is told from Adam's point of view; telling his story, the grief he felt when Mia left him without a word. the grief wasn't because Mia died - she survived the accident; but because Adam was dumped. and i think Gayle Forman is an expert in expressing feelings through words, because i can feel my own heart breaking when i read the lyrics that Adam wrote. this is no doubt an amazing book. here's the book review ;)
"She left for Juilliard the day after Labor Day. I drove her to the airport. She kissed me good-bye. She told me that she loved me more than life itself. Then she stepped through security.
She never came back."
the story starts, introducing Adam Wilde, who now has become really successful with his band Shooting Star. but he's not the same guy he used to be. the Adam Wilde he is now is a temperamental, rude, arrogant person. Adam himself told his story, and anyone who read it can see all the misery that he's going through. his life changes completely when Mia stopped calling him from New York; and stopped receiving his calls too. Adam assumed his relationship with Mia was over; even without breaking up with each other. after that, Adam goes through a difficult time, he even abandoned Shooting Star, making his band mates furious. but then he starts writing lyrics and making musics; pouring all his heart out on the songs. and so the album Collateral Damage was born, making it a stepping stone for Shooting Star towards fame.
now Adam Wilde is in New York, and fate let him meet again with Mia Hall.
Adam went to Mia's concert at Carnegie Hall in New York. unexpectedly, when he was about to step out of the building, someone said that Mia wanted to see him. no doubt, it was an awkward first meeting after 3 long years; but Mia acted as though nothing happened, and refer Adam as an old friend. Mia took Adam around the city; eating at a diner, sharing stories, to a bus station with a bowling alley, and taking him on her secret New York tour. all the time, Adam is dying to ask for an explanation. at least a reason why she left him.
it was on the Brooklyn Bridge where Mia said it; the reason why she's suddenly gone from Adam's life. all because Adam have made Mia woke up from her coma, made her decide to stay instead of letting go; and live through her life now. a life without a family.
"She looks at me, square in the eye. Taking aim. And then she pulls the trigger. "Because I hated you.... you made me stay."
i think the rest of the story should be read personally. i wouldn't want to spoil all the fun :)
the book is literally full of emotions. i think Gayle Forman expertise in this, because the first book also had the same effect towards me. i was feeling all heart-broken and sad and haunted by the story somehow. and the lyrics are amazing! they are very poetic and has a very very deep meaning. my favorite track would be Roulette and Bridge in the album Collateral Damage. i was quite sad (or disappointed) at first, because i didn't seem to find the sweet, loving Adam Wilde in the first book; he definitely changed a lot. but fortunately, in the end, i found my sweet prince charming again :*
here are some emotional quotes/lyrics from the book that caught my heart:
"I know it's really cheesy - crass even - to compare my being dumped to the accident that killed Mia's family, but I can't help it. Because for me, at any rate, the aftermath felt exactly the same."
"Barrel of the gun, rounds one two three
She says I have to pick: choose you, or choose me
Metal to the temple, the explosion is deafening
Lick the blood that covers me
She's the last one standing"
- Roulette (Collateral Damage, Track 11)
"You crossed the water, left me ashore
It killed me enough, but you wanted more
You blew up the bridge, a mad terrorist
Waved from your side, threw me a kiss
I started to follow but realized too late
There was nothing but air underneath my feet"
- Bridge (Collateral Damage, Track 4)
"If you stay, I'll do whatever you want. I'll quit the band, go with you to New York.
But if you need me to go away, I'll do that, too. Maybe coming back to your old life would just be too painful, maybe it'd be easier for you to erase us. And that would suck, but I'd do it.
I can lose you like that if I don't lose you today. I'll let you go. If you stay.
That was my vow. My burden. My shame. That I asked her to stay."
"Quitting's not hard. Deciding to quit is hard. Once you make that mental leap, the rest is easy."
definitely one of the best books i've ever read! :D extremely satisfied with the two book; thank you to friends from BBI who urge me to get to know Adam Wilde :) it was a great read! Gayle Forman now becomes one of my favorite authors ;) SO recommended for YA fans :)
For those of you who haven't read the first book, you should! :)
Read my book review on If I Stay here.